The Gods Must Be Crazy

I’ve been getting my news from Zite and Flipboard apps on my iPad so my horizon has been expanded to include things that would never have otherwise entered my realm of consciousness. Most are insightful and delightfully informative. Others, are, well, un-freakin-believable.

Proof (and these are all real articles about things that actually happened in real life. I swear on…um, my nearly complete collection of West Wing episodes. That’s how serious I am.)

• Darling Celebrity Bunny Accidentally Crashed by Cameraman
  
• Jack Bauer Has Killed 267 People in 8 Days (fine, this is a TV show, but how crazy is that?)
• A Couple Kills Husband’s Mistress…and Hides the Body in Their House for A Month
• Republican Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum to Puerto Rico: Speak English if You Want Statehood
• HBO Drama ‘Luck’ Cancelled After A Third Horse Dies (this is a show that revolves around horse racing and the betting that goes with it)

And the coup de grace, brought to you by Rick Santorum himself:

“President Obama once said he wants everybody in America to go to college. What a snob.”

You can find the full article anywhere (but, just because I’m nice, here’s a link that comes with a YouTube clip). Rachel Maddow, a TV host and commentator from MSNBC once said, “Google this guy”. I can certainly see why she said that. So, for those of you looking for some good laughs, read up on Santorum. Heck, just read anything on the Republican Primary. Laughs galore.

Before I leave, let me remind you that both Game of Thrones and Mad Men are returning real soon. Also, check out what Jon Hamm, he who brings Don Draper to life, recently said in an interview with a UK magazine, that the reality TV culture (especially the Kardashians) is rewarding stupidity. Salon goes further and endorses his comment. As do I. Long live the Hamm.

Funny Bits

While the trip diary is being put together (read: rewritten from scratch), I came across these pictures on my iPhone. These are photographs I took spontaneously and which, frankly, I had anticipated I would find while in China. You see, everywhere you go, there would be odd English sentences in public notices. It could just be a simple spelling mistake or an awkwardly translated sentence. In China, there used to be more of the latter. Please excuse the poor quality of the images. My iPhone is only 3GS and I am not the best photographer in the world. Well, no, I’m not the best photographer anywhere. Enjoy.

Seen at the Great Wall. Another spelling mistake that is, luckily, understandable.

Seen on toilet door at Bird's Nest Stadium, Beijing. One letter away from the correct word

Seen at the Oriental Pearl Tower, Shanghai. Check out the first line.

If the last picture is not clear enough, the first line says: “No admittance for anyone who is drunk, insane, and not properly dressed.”

Don’t you love how the Chinese speak English?

This tour diary is taking longer than I thought it would but it’s coming.

Summer Blues

Right about this time of the year, Hollywood studios are flooding the cinemas with their latest hits. From giant robots to sleazy pirates, mutants in the 60s and all those superheros in tights…Whatever fantasy that those of the male persuasion prefer, it’s out there in your nearest megaplex. And if you’re not interested in any of those, there’s always trashy summer TV and the newly released trailer of the latest Twilight to tide you over.

What if none of those options are available?

Indonesians will not be able to watch most, if not all of those summer hits. I heard some richer people had already resorted to going to Singapore just to catch a film. What, pray tell, have we become? Yes, Singapore is only an hour and so many minutes away by plane and those people can probably afford to fly there every day of the week but this is a little extreme. I imagine it’s like the olden days when people in smaller towns would have to travel to big cities to be able to watch the new James Bond movie. In short, going to the cinema and watching new Hollywood films have become a luxury. How could this happen in the 21st century when we can have anything we want in an instant? As usual, instead of going forward, where the rest of the world is going, Indonesia has chosen to go the other way. Back to the stone age.

Another one I can't watch

And don’t even suggest downloading. If I liked watching movies on my computer, I wouldn’t be complaining about this issue at all.

Let’s move on to TV. Indonesian TV is trashy all year-long. It has crap reality shows, 24-hour infotainment, and soap operas that will put Dynasty to shame. How trashy can they be, really, you might ask. Answer: the football matches resemble a duel between two opposing primitive villages where referees might get mobbed by angry fans and players.

Cable? Ah, yes. I’ve seen all episodes of the good shows. And I have zero interest in the reality shows, except for the cooking ones. I still can’t believe how good Masterchef Australia is. Gordon Ramsay and his American version look like bullies in comparison, whereas the Indonesian version still has a lot to learn.

Book I Want to Read

So, I guess I will be spending my summer the traditional way: reading and writing. The reading part will require frequent trips to the bookstore (which in here are a bit late in terms of new releases) and updates to my tunes. The good news is there are lots of new albums coming out this June. The writing part? Well, one of my novels in progress might actually have to be dusted off before I can work up the interest to continue them. But we’ll get there, I’m sure.

Don’t even suggest “playing out in the sun” or anything physical. I hate heat, I suck at physical activities, and I’d rather keep my vampire complexion.

Promise I’ll be writing some reviews instead of depressing you next time. This won’t be the last time I complain about me not going to the cinema, though.

Really?!

There’s a movie called Network, released in 1976, that is still highly regarded today. It’s about the news division of a TV network that’s dealing with declining ratings by employing drastic measures, including exploiting the mad ramblings of its soon-to-be-fired senior news anchor and manufacturing a hostage situation. The plot is familiar now (in the era of sensationalistic and non-factual news) but back then it was considered groundbreaking. Of course, the film is most famous for the classic line “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more.”

That scene alone got the actor an Oscar and while it might not be entirely related to what I’m going to write about, guess what? I am mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more. Better than the “I’m-so-bored-I-want-to-kill-myself” version right? So, here is the following things that have made me angry recently.

1. The weather

I live in a tropical country. Yes, the global warming is rampantly screwing up the climate. Still, how can I not be angry when the latest change of weather makes it feel like it’s forty freaking degrees outside? And that’s Celsius! In case the Americans are confused, it is hotter than your hottest summer (except maybe in the desert). Meanwhile, the sun is doing its best to melt every living being out there. My head feels like it’s being pressed by a giant and I have to squint all the time. Indoors. In the interest of full disclosure, I do hate sunlight. I’m part vampire in that sense.

Okay, so maybe I have a condition that is somehow worsened by the high temperature and yeah, it is the time for transition from the rainy season to the dry one (or technically, from “hot and wet” to “even hotter and no rain”), but who has time to think about any of these logical reasons when every blood vessel in my brain is about to burst? I’m just mad.

Don’t believe in global warming? Stand outside my house for an hour. I dare you not to faint.

2. The Imported Movies Business

You know the deal already. Until the government, or whoever is in charge of the imported films, reaches an agreement with MPA (Motion Picture Association), Indonesians will have to make do without any new big-studio Hollywood films for the time being. Of course, being a country of pirates (both the software kind and the Jack Sparrow kind), it won’t make much of a difference. I, like many others, however, think of going to the cinema as a whole ritual of its own. Our goal is not to merely watch a movie. If it were, we’d just download them and be done with it. No. We want the whole experience of lining up for the tickets, buying popcorn, and complaining about all the other Neanderthals in the theater who keep kicking our seats, playing with their phones, and asking dumb questions throughout the entire movie. Okay, that last part was just me.

The point is, if this keeps up, there are lots of businesses that’s going to suffer. Ask any company that owns and/or operates a shopping mall. Cinemas contribute a significant portion of their revenues, not to mention the restaurants and other shops that benefit from people who have time to kill before their movie starts. Case in point: the mall near my house. It’s a new, tiny shopping center that consists of 5 restaurants, a hypermarket, and…guess what? A cinema. Yup. The mall was floundering prior to the opening of the cinema. Once the cinema opens, the visitors tripled. Then, this movie doomsday thing happened. See, I like having a cinema that’s walking distance from my house. To have this taken away from me before I get to enjoy it is just cruelty.

Yet another movie I can't watch

The thing that enrages me even more is the media coverage of the issue. It was pretty intense when the news first broke out, so much so that the government official considers the articles “an overreaction”. Ever since then, though, there has been no word on the subject. Until May 12th. My local newspaper, think of it as LA Times (respectable just not New York-based or the biggest in the country), published a headline boasting a “news-in-depth” section covering the subject on Page One. Guess what? The news-in-depth consists of half a page spread in page 3 and a third of it is a recap of the current situation. The rest of the coverage is opinions of local filmmakers. I wasn’t expecting an expose in the scale of the Pentagon Papers but really? Half a page is not deep coverage. It’s a lame attempt at revisiting the issue.

No wonder the film distributors, the cinema owners, and the government are not lifting a finger. The media, supposed to be our crusader, don’t care enough to put in a decent effort. If the print media can’t be relied on do justice on this minor issue, how on earth are they going to present the hard-hitting stuff? All Indonesian media’s good for is celebrity gossip and gory crime stories. Ashamed? No. Just angry.

For more anger on this issue, stay tuned for my next post.

3. The Traffic (or rather, People in Traffic)

I don’t drive here. Don’t have the guts to. Why? Well, I crashed once but let’s not get into that now. Let’s put it this way: all your nightmares about traffic? Yeah, they’re all happening here.

Yup, this is what I'm talking about

Roughly half (or maybe more) of the vehicles in traffic are motorcycles. Most of these are ridden by people who have no care for their own lives, let alone other people’s. They cut into your paths suddenly, they make illegal u-turns, they speed, they don’t have lights or they don’t turn them on, they talk to each other while riding, they don’t wear helmets, they’re underage, or they carry bulky items that block your sight, your path, or potentially endanger your cars. Oh, and like that asshat driver you so often see, these motorcycle riders text. Oh, and when it rains, these motorcycle riders will stop under a bridge or anything that provides cover, blocking any other traffic that wants to pass through these places.

The car drivers are no better. The most chronic problem is their usage of mobile phones. Sorry, their use of BlackBerry. This “phone” has become a plague in Indonesia, infecting everyone’s mind and taking up their entire free time. So, if you see a car going too slow, chances are the driver is on their god-awful BB. What also irks me is the impatient devils who honk like mad and then proceed to change lanes like they have wives giving birth or they have some life-or-death business. Then, there are the eyesores: the morons who customize their perfectly good cars and proceed to make things even worse. Let’s begin with the headlights. It is now a trend for cars to replace their headlights with brighter, white ones. The kind that hurts your eyes, no matter which mirror you see them from. The kind that is illegal in Europe and US. What other minor adjustments annoy me? Those idiots who lower their cars. Yeah, buddy, I don’t care if it makes your car look cooler or go faster in those illegal street races you regularly participate in with your dumb friends. You live in a city with thousands of speed bumps. High and irregularly shaped speed bumps that come in groups of three or more. So, when you spend 3 minutes on each speed bump trying not to hit it with the bottom of your ridiculously low car, you annoy everyone else behind you.One more thing car drivers do that are just plain inconsiderate: parking outside the lines. You know what happens you park at an angle or between the wrong lines? Surprise, surprise, no other car can fit into what should’ve been a perfectly good spot to park their car next to yours. What made you so damn lazy that you can’t be bothered to take an extra sixty seconds to align your vehicle to the lines?

I understand that you may have got your license without any kind of tests (and earlier than you were supposed to). I get that you bribe your way out of every ticket you should’ve got from the cops but try to pay attention to everyone else on the road. Dimwits. Do you know how often I’ve had to curse because of your reckless behavior? I want to be polite and demure but you are making it really hard for me.

4. The Dance Music Trend

I can’t quite remember who started it (in my mind, I blame Usher) but really, it has got to stop. The monotonous beat of this type of music has made every song sound alike, and dumbed down what would’ve been perfectly fine and catchy lyrics. It’s ruined the Black Eyed Peas’ latest album (whom I used to adore), made me swear off Usher, put me off Ne-Yo (I loved that guy once!), and led me to question Rihanna’s mental capacity (“What’s My Name?”, “Who’s That Chick”? Amnesiac or searching for identity). To top it off, even Lady Gaga has become somewhat of a let-down. Perhaps the record will grow on me.

The worst thing to come out this trend, though, is the trashy blonde better known as Ke-dollar sign-ha (there’s no way I’m typing THAT name). What part of her image/vocals/songs scream “I am an artist you should respect”? None.

The exception to the trend

Anyone can get away singing a dance song. You don’t have to sound very good, you don’t need brilliant lyrics. As long as your video looks fun and the beats are catchy, you can make millions. Forgive me for not wanting to be a part of this trend. Eww.

Dark Days Are Upon Us

Yes, you guessed right. I’ve crawled into that black-as-night cave inside my mind, where nothing positive and wholesome lingers. It feels like all the energy and excitement have been sapped out of my life. At first, it was the endless bout of cold, which still hasn’t released its grip on me.Once I went off the medicine, though, not much has changed. The worst part: I feel sleepy at 10 p.m. Ten? That is unacceptable! That is the appropriate sleeping hour for respectable people with serious, nine-to-five jobs, not someone like me.

Once I fall asleep, though, things do not get better. My dreams are more vivid than ever and keeping me occupied even after I wake up. I’ve become obsessed with interpreting them. The other day, for some reason, I was fixated with the number ’7′ in my dream. I can’t remember why now, but I found myself wondering about the number all day long. Today, it was all about a piece of lost luggage. Yes, I had a dream where I was traveling by train and  lost a suitcase. Apparently, according to this website, it represents “lost identity”. Guess what? For once, this new-age mumbo-jumbo makes sense. I do feel kinda lost.

Normally, I resort to the various forms of entertainment at my disposal to distract myself from sinking further into the abyss of depression. Guess what? None of them worked. The all-mighty cable TV have failed me. The biggest thing they’ve got on now, is, surprise, surprise, American Idol. Don’t they get that I stopped caring about the show…six seasons ago? And all those reality shows. Ugh. How many more versions of trashy dumb girls and their even dumber men does the public need to see, anyway? As for the other shows…Well, Glee had a shining moment with their “Born This Way” episode last week but they’ve somehow screwed up the return of Kristin Chenoweth in this week’s episode and diminished her role. You should be ashamed, Ryan Murphy. That boozy blonde is my favorite guest star. I was temporarily lifted with the premiere of Mad Men Season 4, but within two episodes, I realized something. That show has a lot of good things going for it, but uplifting and positive? No, Sir, it is truly not.

So, since the small screen has failed me, the logical option would be to turn to the bigger screen. Oops. No longer a viable option, remember? Since my good-for-nothing government decided to increase taxes on imported movies, the cinemas have been loaded with substandard films or reruns of the old and forgotten bombs that were somehow passed over when they were first released…two years ago. Or, perhaps, I could show support for the local film industry by checking out a nationally produced motion picture. Let’s see…what are my choices? Crap horror, crap horror featuring American porn star, crap horror, unfunny romcom, and the third part of a so-so trilogy about teenage girls’ virginity. Pass.

Cute cover...

Well, what about the written word? Surely, if there’s any form of art capable of curing the ennui, it could be found in reading. Not so. Apart from my brilliant re-reading of Beginner’s Greek, I haven’t found any good books lately. I’m reading Candace Bushnell’s young-adult attempt of Carrie Bradshaw’s life, The Carrie Diaries, and I am so underwhelmed. Maybe it’s just my mood, maybe it’s my general lack of interest in young adult stories that don’t have explosions or adventures in them. The other thing I’m reading is a spy novel, which is brilliant and factual, but paced so slowly that I can’t get attached to it. Without my Vanity Fair (Katy Perry’s on the cover!), there’s nothing else to tide me over other than a Scrooge McDuck comic book. And you thought I was pathetic, right? Proved you wrong, didn’t I?

In conclusion, the only refuge there is to be found is in real life. Namely, things that are real and people who are not characters dreamed up by workaholic writers cooped up in a dark den somewhere. Food usually helps, in the form of chocolate and/or salty chips. Salty chips are still not an option due to my cold, and chocolate hasn’t been successful thus far, not even the dark 70% kind. Ice-cream and fro-yo are also out of the question in this matter. And it’s not that I have no appetite; I do get hungry a lot. I just don’t have a craving of any kind. Frustrating.

People? Well, they are the ones that have failed me most. They’ve frustrated me, bored me to no end, irked me in so many ways, and driven me to the edge. It’s not entirely their fault, perhaps, but in this mood, I am loath to think that it’s my fault. Sometimes I wonder if more company would make me feel better (in the sense that someone cares about me) or worse (as in ‘I wish they’d leave me alone’). I didn’t choose to be this depressed. I don’t want to stay gloomy this long. I don’t know what will help, though.

Sigh...

I’ve heard that hugs can help. Then again, I can’t promise I won’t snap at you if you attempt to give me one.

Death to Entertainment

The Indonesian government has decided to end life as we know it. For the longest time, I’ve consoled myself by thinking that no matter how bad things get, there’s always the cinema to run to. James Bond is always ready to amuse and thrill you with his devil-may-care antics, Disney (with Pixar’s help) will continue to feed the child in all of us, dramas content to stir our passions, and Judd Apatow ready to either make you laugh or shock you with his less-than-PG comedies. Well, no more. At least not if the Motion Picture Association (MPA) makes good on its threat to boycott Indonesian cinemas.

This severely damaging news began to circulate Friday night, during a press conference after a preview of “Black Swan”. MPA, apparently, is far from happy with the government’s policy to levy tax on imported films, as much as 43 cents per meter of film. MPA declares that this kind of tariff is unprecedented and Indonesian government responds by stating that they’re only following the WTO regulations. Prior to this policy, according to this article, there are three different tariffs levied on each film coming in, in addition to the 15% going to the central government, and another 10-15% to the local district. What, exactly does the government want to do with the extra income? Buy a Rolls-Royce instead of a Mercedes they already own? A vacation to Europe instead of Hong Kong and Singapore? A house in the moon to go with the other three each official already owns in three different countries? What?

Burn! Raze! Kill!

Film distribution in Indonesia is in a sad state as it is. As I’ve mentioned before, the process is so excruciatingly slow that the original DVD is released before the film even hits the theatres. And I live in the SECOND BIGGEST city in the country. Variety has always been lacking, due to the poorly defined taste of the movie-going mass and the archaic censor board. Cinemas, despite being situated inside a swanky mall and newly renovated, suffer from regular problems of loss of picture and audio, as well as choppy transitions and horrible subtitles. Despite all this disappointment, I still go. Once a month, perhaps, if the film is right. I have been going far less often, though. Well, keep this up and I will NEVER go to a cinema again. I wonder how many millions others will follow in my footsteps.

Oddly, this logo appears in every pirated DVD I buy

Amidst this mess, the market of pirated films is alive and thriving. Access to pirated DVDs of all kinds is virtually unlimited and they are available at a ridiculously low cost, averaging at about a third the price of a cinema ticket, sometimes even less.  Ironically, the government has often declared that piracy is a serious crime. With this new policy installed, they’ll only be creating a larger market for pirated DVDs.  Even me, the snob, depends on pirated DVDs to sustain my hunger for sophisticated entertainment. I even-GASP!-download videos from the internet. What other choice do I have? What alternative will anyone have if MPA makes good on their threat?

I once made a promise never to see an Indonesian film in the cinema. If it wins an Oscar, then maybe I’ll consider it but other than that, no way. Why? Well, the majority of local movies consist of two categories: horror films or cheesy dramas. Comedies are featured quite often, too, but always laced with a sexual element that makes the films neither funny or sexy. Horror films are even worse. Seeing the titles alone is enough to make me hurl my lunch. Cheesy dramas more often than not have a very strong religious theme to it, which as you recall, is not my cup of tea. If Indonesian films are all that lie in my future visits to cinema, pass.

Alas, the Swan Shan't Ever Dance to the Silver Screen

It is still unclear if this tax policy will go through, or if it will affect films imported from countries other than the U.S. but the news has had the internet buzzing all over the country. Cinema owners everywhere are preparing for a tough time. To make it worse, movies that are supposed to be released may not even get to see the inside of an Indonesian cinema. Not even Black Swan, which I have been dying to see for months.

So, my fellow movie fans, if you find the future as bleak as I do, let’s think of what can be done to prevent it from happening. I may disapprove of your generally poor attitude in cinemas (answering  a phone call, talking loudly, giggling, asking stupid questions, and lateness) but I sure as hell would rather endure any one of your crappy etiquette than be seeing nothing but Indonesian film posters displayed in the cinema pages on newspapers.

And to the government, here’s a thought: you’d rather make money than introduce culture to your people. That, my dishonorable elected officials, is why this country is down in the dumps and will forever stay that way.

UPDATED: This morning, the Minister of Culture & Tourism (odd combination, right?) stated that they would review any proposed tax increase on imported films. An announcement on the subject would be made on March 29th. He also mentioned some other baloney about how the intention was to improve the quality of national films and encourage its growth as an industry. Somewhere in his statement was also a guarantee that cinemas would continue to air imported film. Surprisingly, the Minister expressed his wonder at the public outrage, seeing as nothing was final yet. Is this just another case of the Government backpedaling and chickening out on their decision (which happens a lot, by the way)? Or simple lack of communication between the Tax Office, Customs Office and other government institutions (which happens even more often)?

My Standards May Be High, but They Are Mine

Every parent raises their child to a certain standard. Take my mother, for example. She is highly devoted to cleanliness. Even in our old house, she scans every surface for dust on a regular basis. That house may be stuck in the 80s and the roof leaking, but damn it, it was spotless. When it comes to food, nearly every ingredient is fresh. No pork or chicken from months ago lying in a freezer. She loves clean favors; her delicate tummy being unable to handle anything too acidic or spicy. As a result, the family has got used to a somewhat healthy meal that is at least balanced. Her standard also extends to entertaining. Whenever my parents entertain, they take it seriously. We have two folding tables and a set of chairs for the guests. Plastic but comfortable and sturdy. The food may not always be expensive but it comes with dessert and an array of condiments. We cook most of the food ourselves and they are the favorites of every single neighbor. Unsurprisingly, almost everyone else’s party falls short of our standard. The ingredients in other people’s dish are often lacking, the taste not well thought of and the dining room never clean enough or comfortable enough.

In my (and my brother’s) case, that standard becomes reinforced after living in a civilized country where food preparation is taken VERY seriously. There are regulations governing every single establishment where food is served, with serious repercussions if violated. Are we to be blamed for being shocked at what we’ve found back in Surabaya?

What would you do if you find this inside your food?

Take this for example: I once found a RUBBER BAND inside a shumai (a large pork/seafood dumpling). Luckily, I discovered it when I was cutting into the shumai and not when I bit it. This also recently happened to my brother when he was dining with friends. The rubber band was inside a stir-fry in a restaurant. He’d also found staples inside a rice dish, so have I. We’ve encountered various styles and length of hair inside our food, home-cooked and outside. Why, the other day, I saw a cockroach crawling into a bakery/restaurant inside a fancy mall. The little critter was skittering right in front of my eyes.

Yes, perhaps I am too much of a snob. And true, I completely understand that not everyone prepares food or entertains like a Michelin-star chef. Heck, I cook with very little thought process involved. Nevertheless, there have to be some standards. Unsanitary food can lead to more dangerous things than just diarrhea. Be acutely aware.

 

Good Fences Don’t Guarantee Anything

A bad neighbor is a misfortune, as much as a good one is a great blessing

—Hessiod, Greek poet, 700 BC—

Even in a gated residential complex, the neighbours are obnoxious. Even more so, perhaps, because everyone thinks that they’ve earned the right to act any way they like because they’ve earned enough money to afford a house here. Take my neighborhood for example. FYI, I live in a residential area called Pakuwon City, which is in East Surabaya. It’s an area that’s been heavily developed only in the past few years and as a result, prices around here have rocketed, a far cry from its modest beginnings. As a result, the area is an eclectic mix of professions and backgrounds.

Having lived in this house for almost two years, I’ve become acquainted with most of the people residing in my complex. Granted, almost half of the area is still undeveloped land, making it reasonable to keep track of every house owner. And yes, I have nothing better to do than spy on them. It’s not entirely intentional; sometimes my mind remembers useless details, like the license number of the white car owned by the tobacco farmer next door.

Let’s start with the Hornes (not real names, of course). They are the family living two doors down from mine, consisting of an elderly father and his two grown-up children. I won’t discuss the ostentatious black & gold fence (which supposedly cost a LOT) but I will highlight one particularly annoying habit. They all like to honk. A lot. The children probably honk 3-5 times all the way from the gate, 200-250 metres away. Annoying but tolerable. The father, however, does not know how to remove his hands from the horn. Within one second, he can honk 2-3 times. By my (conservative) calculation, it should take him about 20 seconds to reach his house from the gate. Imagine how lovely it is to hear such numerous horns at six o’clock every morning. Also keen to honking is the Belles, a middle-aged couple with four (or is it three?) daughters, who lives across the street. Their frequency is, however, within normal limits. Then again, once you combine all these honk-happy drivers, it adds up to a considerable noise pollution to anyone living within earsight. Which is, in my quiet complex, every single person.

At least, my neighbor doesn't preach like Flanders!

At daytime, however, my complex is alive with construction sounds. Gradually, the empty lots are being constructed on. Houses begin to take shape with each lethargic day. Despite the notorious habit of Indonesians to relax (think Mexican siesta), these projects are moving along at a steady pace. Like the one next door. I’ve long complained that my room feels like a sauna in the evening, if the day has been particularly sunny. Probably because there isn’t a house to either side of ours so our walls are exposed to direct sunlight. Now that the walls are taking shape, perhaps I can breathe easier in a few months. Then again…have you ever noticed how noisy construction is? It’s one machine after another, process after process. It never stops. From the loud thumps of the foundation-laying mammoths, followed by the big cement trucks pumping all day (or the little machine for laying bricks). Still, at least the ceramic cutter isn’t here yet. Menace to the ears, that one. Worst noise of all? The builders. These are bored young men who will whistle at any female that walks by, tell dirty jokes to each other and do so at the top of their voices. Now, I get it, they’re bored. They should be allowed to do all of that stuff. Multiplied by four, however? Too much. I can hear everything. Every damn thing. And I don’t want to be able to do that.

Get your own damn tools!

Another popular habit in my residential cluster is the “please-steal-slash-vandalize-or-damage-my-car” policy. Mind you, every house does have a garage and a driveway in front of it; it just isn’t used. Well, except this one crazy house in construction, whose owner is a demented person. He chose to build a swimming pool instead of a garage. Talk about priority. Anyway…Right. At night, the street leading to my house is lined with cars on both sides, despite the fact that their driveway is empty. Maybe if you have more cars than space (very common here, strangely), I can understand it. Sheer laziness to park the car inside the fence? Nope, don’t get it. Mind you, it’s even worse near the eastern end of my complex, where the road loops to surround a small patch of playground. Everyone at that end has 3 cars or more, and they can’t be bothered to lock them in. Even after the Belles’ car (parked outside) got swiped by a speeding motorcyle, rolled forward and hit an electric pole, none of them had learnt their lesson. Sigh. Luckily, the streets are wide enough to accomodate all of us.

Speaking of cars, my neighbors are dangerous drivers. Not just in my complex, every single person living or merely passing in the entire residential area feels the need…the need for SPEED. Yup, I just quoted Top Gun. Maybe it’s the deserted paved roads that beckons them to push harder on the accelerator. At night, when it’s really, really quiet, I sometimes hear a massive engine roaring, sometimes motorcycles, too. And they do it twice, because they usually do a U-turn at the end of the road. Joy. This one time, it sounded like the speeding motorbike slid and had an accident. “I hope that one’s hurt badly,” I quickly said when it happened. “Well, there’s no screaming…it can’t a be that bad,” replied my brother. “Shame,” I added. Yes, that’s how pissed we are.

Could be a lot worse...

There are other noises at night, too. The animals. Mostly, it’s dogs. Canines of all breeds and sizes can be found here. Within my complex alone, I count about ten dogs. There are huskies, retrievers, poms, German shepherds, and even a St. Bernard (Beethoven!). This last one is referred to by my maids as “the goat-like dog”, purely because it is massive. Behind my house, past the empty lot, is a main street. Across that street lies a training ground for dogs, with an obstacle course. Along that street live plenty of richer people who also have dogs. In the evenings, there are barkings all around. Don’t know why but they bark. To make it worse, dogs are not the only ones causing all the commotion. Frogs come out when it rains, singing and belching loudly to each other. Gekkos and lizards are all around. Fruit bats hang out and crash repeatedly at my parent’s windows. Birds sing all day long. So yeah, it’s an odd mixture of nature and modern out here.

Nevertheless, there are a lot of awesome people around the block. My parents have made tons of amazing friends who love eating out and will also help us in times of need. Sure, they’re kind of eccentric but that’s what makes us human. There hasn’t been a single person visiting our house who said that this was a bad place to live. It’s a step-up from our old neighborhood. Or, put differently, a different kind of headache.

Enough is Enough

The Golden Globe nominations came out last night (GMT+7, Local Time) and as an award enthusiast, I had to know right away. After scanning the complete list, this is what I concluded (bitterly, I might add):

• Number of movies nominated in all categories (excluding Foreign Language category): 29
• Number of those movies that have played/are playing in cinemas across Surabaya: 9
• Number of cinemas in Surabaya: 10
  
• Number of the nominated movies that I, a movie freak, have seen: 2

So, really, it’s mostly the distributors’ fault that I lack access to this year’s (supposedly) best films.  How can this be? Only in this past year, two new cinemas have opened. And another one is opening within a month or so. Theoretically, with more cinemas, there should be more movies.  I can accept the newer movies not premiering here yet, but for the love of God, Easy A is still not here yet, after how many months I lost track.

Get your act together, distributors.

The Social Network, yet another that hasn't played in my town

Don’t Steal From Us !

Must be nice working for a multinational company like Starbucks. They even tag the crappy plastic stands with barcode. For inventory or to discourage stealing?